Pants are optional

After watching commericals for all the candidates for California Governor, Cato has decided to run on a write-in basis. He figures he's more appealing. He's not a developer, actor or entrepreneur. Instead he's a little more relaxed and perhaps more representative of California itself. He's Asian. He's got stripes. He has blue eyes. He speaks Spanish fluently. He's in business school, but he's focusing on not-for-profits. He's got all his bases covered.

After watching the elections in Iraq (he doesn't give a crap about Iraq), he's decided to call his party the Feline Party of God. He feels the name will strike the right chord in his campaign. "It will go down well with the religious right, Islamic extremists and cats who are in to NASCAR." He knows California is the proving ground for a national campaign, so he is busy looking presidential. "Ruling California and the United States would be fun!"

His platform:

Dogs and Fundamentalist Christians -- should be locked on the back porch. That is where they belong.

The environment -- there should be more small animals to eat. He would support anything that would make that happen.

Same sex marriage -- he's fixed, so he doesn't care as long as there are plenty of small animals to eat. "Because I am fixed, I will never cause a scandal."

Sex education in schools -- "Instead of abstinence, everyone should be fixed."

Defense spending -- "No one should be declawed."

His Republican opponent -- "Hasta la vista baby!"

His Democratic opponents -- "Oh, please don't bore me with that!"

George Bush -- "I don't have time for his idiocy. Bush is not a small animal, so I won't eat him." He would lock him up on the back porch, though.

His platform -- I am running for the Governor of California because I am more interesting, more intelligent and craftier than any of the announced candidates. I even look better!

Pants -- His opponents wear them. He doesn't. Because of his potbelly he can't find anything to fit. His campaign manager has suggested a workout program, but he doesn't see the need. So, pants are optional.

Comments

[clare eats]

LOL
That is the best campaign speech I have seen.

Cato for president, forget Govenor!

[Aloysius]

Cato,

I wish I lived in your state so that I could vote for you. Maybe I should start a Minnesota Feline Party of God.

Purrs!

[Bonnie Underfoot]

Cato, my people have family in Catifornia. We'll encourage them to vote for you. Unlike some candidates, you were born American and can be Purrsident. I'll be in touch with my people immediately.

[Doug]

Is he a member of Hairbollah?