As what only can be termed a "scandal" our candidate has fled his Sonoma home for the relative obscurity of a neighborhood in the spa town of Calistoga in the Napa Valley. There he has been hiding in a closet; keeping out of the way of the prying eyes of his fans and the paparazzi. His fall was masterminded by the evil genius, Tyra Banks host of America's Next Top Model after a misunderstanding when he sat in her lap during an audition for the show.
Here is are two of a series of photos shot of our candidate after his disgraceful fall.
Note the sadness in his eyes. Despite the fact that he is not a female, between the ages of ages of 18 and 27 years old and a height of five feet seven inches tall, Banks egged him on, telling him they were looking for super-sized models. Being the trusting feline that he is, he bought her line, only to find his aspirations as America's Next Feline Top Model squashed when she alleged that he got "happy in her lappy" as the National Enquirer termed it.
At only three years old, 15 inches high, and a neutered male to boot, he was obviously not suited to the contest. Frankly, his fellow contestants were not that nice to him, putting up a catfight 
whenever he tried to be friendly. But, as he has been a candidate for the Governor of California for four months, he understands the vagaries of the public taste.
This morning, I am happy to report, he was able to eat and drink again, something he has refused to do for several days.
At this moment he is happily ensconced in the closet on his favorite blanket plotting his next escapade -- running for the President of Mexico.
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