Master of the lap dance

While Cato may be under the bed this morning purring contentedly, last night he partied with the mighty. "All I can say is there were a lot of warm laps to sit on," he said with a smile before he retired well after midnight to his usual spot. There he slept deeply, snoring happily after what must have been his most glittering and colorful gubernatorial fund raiser yet.

While his opponents solicited children to recommend them to voters -- "The whole dog and pony show" -- Cato chose to give his deep pocket supporters a real treat inspired by his favorite late-night program G-String Divas. And, while Cato doesn't wear pants, much less a g-string, all agreed that he was a master at the lap dance.

The glitterati lined up to take a turn on the "champagne court" with Cato doing the honors.

"He was all that I imagined and more," said Donald Trump, the real estate mogul. He was warm, intelligent and very inspiring. I believe he can go farther than anyone I've ever met in politics. He is very advanced for a cat and as a businessman, I would hire him in an instant!"

Cato found Trump a little warmer than the norm. "By the time I got done sitting on his lap, I was perspiring. The guy has energy to burn, but what's up with his hair?" Cato recommends Hair Club for Men for the Donald. "It worked for me. I have a glorious coat!"

Super Model Christy Turlington took her turn with Cato and gushed afterwards. "He's such a gentleman. Such a charmer. He got me to open my checkbook."

Cato confirmed that Turlington had written him a check for $1.8 million for his campaign. Calling her warm and funny. He stated:"she's purrrrfect," after he took his turn on her lap.

All told, there were at least 100 celebs that opened their wallets during Cato's special lap dance.

Comments heard from the crowd:

Warren Beatty and Annette Benning: "Cato has extraordinary depth. He would be a great character actor. He is devoted to his religion and still has a sense of fun. A real all-American cat. He should be running for President of the United States."

Clint Eastwood: "He's dirtier than Dirty Hairy, literally. Why didn't anyone think to clean him up for this event?" The only response given was by Cato's campaign manager. "We tried to get him into the chair to brush out the dust, but Cato believes a little debris adds character." All celebs were give damp cloths to wipe their hands and laps after Eastwood's complaint.

Paul Newman: "I offered him a little homemade dressing to spice up his small animal assortment. We struck a deal. Cato's photo will be appearing on 'Mice Spice' an exclusive line of feline products we'll be introducing in the near future," Newman said. "It was all his idea," said the aging actor. "I just put up the money and lent my experimental kitchen to get the blend of ingredients right." When asked what went into Mice Spice he replied that it was proprietary information and could not be divulged. Cato's response was simply "Yummy!"

Comments

[Aloysius Katz]

Go, Cato!

[Bonnie Underfoot]

Wow, Cato, sounds like you have quite a following. We'll vote for you!
Oh,... Mom says we can't vote for Catifornia govner from Whiskonsin. But we'll call the gramparents an tell them. Vote for Cato! Meow! Meow!

[clare eats]

wow Cato ur hanging out with the big players now!

[Frank]

Is it true that Cato helped Paris Hilton remain calm while in prison?