Cato's Republic

Meet the master of the lap dance and presidential candidate

Cato would like to acquaint his constituency with a little history about his campaign and his lap dancing career.

• A hero is born
• His party affiliation -- The Feline Party of God.
• His platform -- "Dogs and fundamentalist Christians should be locked up on the back porch."
• His platform --  The high cost of gas.
• His fund raising efforts -- Master of the lap dance and Experience the magic of lap dancing.
• His recognition as a wine connoisseur.
• His defeat in the recent Mexican presidential election.
• The Great Cat -- his relationship with the deity -- The wish-fullfilling gem.
• His inner life -- Tickle me Cato.
• Treatise on branding -- I am self cleaning.
• His relationship with the Mafia -- Everything I learned about killing I learned from Tony Soprano.

Cato would like to ask for your support in his efforts to gain public office. "Fifty-three percent of people who meet me, want to take me home. This is because I am intelligent, articulate and neutered. How many politicians can say that?"

Disclaimer: According the election laws in the United States Cato is not eligible for any public office. He is under age ( four years), not an American citizen (born in a Sonoma garage, his mother was so poor he does not have a birth certificate), and not human (but don't tell him that). As his campaign manager, I hope you will not mention these impediments to him as running for office seems to be his raison de etre.

Oh Babe, it's the cats carnival

It's 112 degrees in the shade here in Domain Cato. So while he did his honest best, he makes his regrets to anyone who is not happy. He tried to be politic, but wound up sweating all over the keyboard because he has too much hair. To our left is Babe. In keeping with the theme of the day, Cato says: "He's hot (Cato himself is a neutered male and very metro-sexual)!"

Hot cats

Spike is yet another hot kitty.

Beezer of Beezer's Song is one cool cat!

Huck's on strike: no cuteness until he gets AC.

Here's a switch....Crazy Meezer offers us several cat piles. These are Cato's cousins several times removed.

Weather sensitive Ripley of Windypundit can't stand the rain.

These cats were flattened by the heat.

Aggressive cats

A cat with an unlikely name lives with Dax Montana.

Wait until Rocket gets his own gun. That'll teach you to go to Montana and leave the poor bugger at home. A new drama every day on Keewees Corner.

Kai and Xena the Warrior Kitten. Watch them beat the crap outta one another!

That's his spot Coyote! Get outta da way……..please.

What do Stranger Ranger's cats do best? Hiss-o-rama.

Mog is ready to call in the Israeli Army to take care of the two terrorists sticking around in the chair.

Tigger of Pet's Garden is not the athlete he thought he was, but we still love him in his action shot. Get that lab!

Jelly Pizza says it's time for more love and peace in the  Middle East.

Kittyfada! Orloff and Pushkin beat the crap out of one another as their banker stands by.

Purrfectly Black shares a kitten video. Watch them go to town on the sofa. So sweet…yet so deadly.

Kitty Gurus

Elms in the Yard's Missy is up a tree and shows us all how to get back down.

Rico Loco turns out to be an organized dude. Who knew?

Spectra on Cascade Exposures has the biggest and the goldest eyes on earth.

The Poulson cats play the game Risk for heaven's sake! When will they play poker?

Weird Cats

Skitters is still not adjusted to his new home. Mouse is. What does it mean, mom?

Minx a black cat with just a hint of sensuality.

Melange's Miss Kitty goes deaf or is she just camera shy?

Annie Miz's Dinah cuts a large figure in catdom.

Ogre presents his Pirate Cat as a break from politics.

Mean Kitty comments on tomcat's sleeping style. Oh lascivious one!

Sebastian, little terror that he is, threatens to chew you to oblivion, Oh my gosh.

This one stumped me until I got the hang of it. SFP's line drawings of cats and references to H.G. Wells -- a literary pastiche, in other words.

Head down memory lane with Two Black Cats with some old photos of very jolly Ginger and Poppy.

Weird Duncan of Texas Oasis gets a bad rap for liking green beans and pooping where ever poop happens. Buck up boy, someday you'll escape

Texas

and poop all over

Kansas

! Can we say toxoplasmosis?

Princess Lotus Blossom was quite upset that I shared no photos of her last Friday and demanded her due, so here are some photos of 'Her Royal Highness'.  She's quite pleased now! The ongoing saga…….

Mycah's weewee adventure....

Composite Drawlings has just too many damn cats. It's a good thing that a cat stampede can't kill you!

For the Junta's side order of cat made me hungry. Is that Thai chicken cat?

Here and There Cats

Three cats who lend new meaning to agility training!

amanuensis, lower case, is bored on Catymology.

Mr. Gato is on a break as enrevanche travels the

Midwest

.

It is now 85 degrees and I am beat. Time for more ice cream and a little night music. My apologies to anyone we missed and anyone we misrepresented.

Bruce annoys Ferdy on the Conservative Cat.

Manx gets stuck. Whooo Boyyee. Manx News for the fearless.

The canival is coming

Cato is going to take a break from his campaigning to host the Carnival of Cats this Sunday. He welcomes everyone and anyone who loves cats to send in a picture and a post for this momentous event.

Guaranteed to cure what ails you

Seven days after he declared his candidacy, Cato suffered a complete defeat. He garnered absolutely no votes in the Mexican Election. Spending several days laying on the patio totally despondent, he disappeared. At first it was feared that he had made the ultimate sacrifice in a fit of pique. Fortunately, a day later a postcard from Karlovy Vary arrived explaining his whereabouts. Unknown to most, his Slavic heritage called out to him, so he had returned to his roots. "Here I am once again in the Czech Republic enjoying this wonderful spa of my youth," he writes. "My grandmother would bring me by train to take the waters every year in Karlovy Vary (Carlsbad)."

After taking the cure there, he moved on to Piestany in the Slovak Republic. "I have the sweetest memories of accompanying my Babi to the public baths to swim in the hot pools and then afterwards being wrapped in hot towels and sleeping the rest of the day away. In the cool of the evening we would eat kapusta and klobasa. This practice is very restorative."

I am happy to report that the candidate, who phoned several days after his postcard, sounded revitalized. He expressed an interest in studying the art of balneology as a way of honoring his heritage and acknowledging his presence in Calistoga.

"Calistoga is the quintessential spa town. It is built on a geothermal wealth of hot pools and volcanic ash. It combines native American history (Wappo) with frontier characters who were liars, murderers, cheats, Mormons, millionaires and newspaper men (Sam Brannan)." In other words, it is the perfect setting for healing therapies American-style. I have decided to open a gentleman's club catering to the best in balneological therapies for men."

Look for Cato's Monster Trucks and Mud Baths Salon to open in the fall of 2006 in Calistoga offering the finest in mud bogging for truck and body. "Guaranteed to cure what ails you!"