Guaranteed to cure what ails you

Seven days after he declared his candidacy, Cato suffered a complete defeat. He garnered absolutely no votes in the Mexican Election. Spending several days laying on the patio totally despondent, he disappeared. At first it was feared that he had made the ultimate sacrifice in a fit of pique. Fortunately, a day later a postcard from Karlovy Vary arrived explaining his whereabouts. Unknown to most, his Slavic heritage called out to him, so he had returned to his roots. "Here I am once again in the Czech Republic enjoying this wonderful spa of my youth," he writes. "My grandmother would bring me by train to take the waters every year in Karlovy Vary (Carlsbad)."

After taking the cure there, he moved on to Piestany in the Slovak Republic. "I have the sweetest memories of accompanying my Babi to the public baths to swim in the hot pools and then afterwards being wrapped in hot towels and sleeping the rest of the day away. In the cool of the evening we would eat kapusta and klobasa. This practice is very restorative."

I am happy to report that the candidate, who phoned several days after his postcard, sounded revitalized. He expressed an interest in studying the art of balneology as a way of honoring his heritage and acknowledging his presence in Calistoga.

"Calistoga is the quintessential spa town. It is built on a geothermal wealth of hot pools and volcanic ash. It combines native American history (Wappo) with frontier characters who were liars, murderers, cheats, Mormons, millionaires and newspaper men (Sam Brannan)." In other words, it is the perfect setting for healing therapies American-style. I have decided to open a gentleman's club catering to the best in balneological therapies for men."

Look for Cato's Monster Trucks and Mud Baths Salon to open in the fall of 2006 in Calistoga offering the finest in mud bogging for truck and body. "Guaranteed to cure what ails you!"

Comments

[Darcy X]

Yo, Cato,
As another traveling cat, I'm really jazzed to hear that about this new gig of yours. It's right up my alley, if you know what I mean. How can I make a reservation?

[jess]

Cato, sweet cat that your travels have now proclaimed you to be, such a leaf turner you are! Will not contact outside news sources as to your wanton days of old dog teasing, horse manure pawing,turkey poop flinging and bunny poop bowling!

[BunterMedic]

Hello
Where find bad girls?
G'night