"It has been a problem for a while now. This kitty litter," Cato said as he sniffed the perfumed smell of the box in the bathroom. "What is this stuff? It stinks and it ain't from what you think!"
"Well, it's Scoop Away and it promises to "clump tight" with "better odor control," I said. "That's why I bought it."
"You bought 40 pounds of it and it says right here on the label that small children can drown in it! What about me? What if I fall in," Cato said as he executed a Michael Jackson-style dance step through the box and out the door to the garden.
"It's hard to fathom indoor cats who use "clumping clay" as a solution," He said to me as he deftly dug into the dirt shaping the proper seat from which to take a leak. "Where is the look and feel of dirt in clay? Where is the deep, earthy smell?"
"As it is, there is no other substance than dirt to do the job. It's outdoors. It's buried. You can dig to China if you must AND if you make a misshapen hole, you can dig another." (He has been known to dig a hole to China.)
"For instance, what did ancient cats do? What did the cats of Egypt use for kitty litter? The people of Bubastis were unlikely to require their cats to use a box much less clumping kitty litter! More likely, they had golden thrones," he looked at me meaningfully.
The next day in my in box, I received a bill for a Litter Kwitter. When it arrived it was unreal. He got it out and set it up. Self-taught cats are somewhat similar to self-taught typists -- frequently the "p" and the "b's" are missed from lack of technique. All week he worked away at teaching himself to use the toilet.
Before he quit completely on this and moved back to the garden, he did amass a mound of literature on the recent history of kitty litter. Ed Lowe, a Fuller's Earth salesman, created Tidy Cat in 1947 inspired by his neighbor, who was tired of using ashes for her cat boxes. From that lowly product a multi-million dollar industry was born.
Cato finally gave up on the cat seat and tossed it in the trash bin. Still, he knows there are plenty of cats trapped indoors who will never know the joys of garden dirt, so he wants you to know all there is to know about using cat litter in your household.
Hey, Cato, I confess I've been known to use the flower bed for a toilet. I think this plank in your platform could be a winner.
Posted by: Aloysius | August 14, 2006 at 10:58 AM