The lord of misrule

The Saturnalia is upon us. Before I take off my pants and dance, I want to give you a little history of the season courtesy of Orlando Paterson writing (subscription required) for the New York Times:

The tradition of celebrating Jesus’ birth on the 25th of December was invented in the fourth century in a proselytical move by the [Catholic] Church.... The pre-Christian winter solstice celebrations of the rebirth of the sun, especially the Roman Saturnalia..., were recast as the Christian doctrine of the re-birth of the Son of God.  Throughout the Middle Ages, Christmas festivities like the 12 days of saturnalian debauchery, the veneration of the holly and mistletoe, and the Feast of Fools were all continuities from pagan Europe. For this reason the Puritans abolished Christmas.

The Puritans were a very jolly group.

The Feast of Fools was a medieval festival that turned society (particularly religious society) on its head. The celebration included a solemn liturgy praising gambling and drunkenness and witnessed the appointment of a Boy Bishop reversing the Catholic hierarchy. During this season it was also customary in Britain to choose a Lord of Misrule. The Romans also chose a Lord and at the end of the Saturnalia the "Lord's" throat was slit and he was sacrificed. I am still looking over my list of idiotic happenings for 2006 and looking for that mighty King. There are so many candidates at the moment, it is hard to chose just one.

At the beginning of the month, my old friend Saparmurat Niyazov, the wacky dictator of Turkmenistan, called me to offer advice for my upcoming campaign. Now, Niyazov was just a phone buddy, good for a laugh now and then, still, he had some words of wisdom.

"After you are elected to supreme office in the United States," he said,  "make sure they change the days of the week or at least a month to reflect your first name and perhaps your mother's name." Given that I haven't been elected yet, I felt that this was an astonishing presumption on his part, although, I do think that July (named after Julius Caesar -- Caius Julius Caesar), needs changing.

In actuality, Niyazov wasn't so off the mark as rulers go. His nation, Turkmenistan holds vast gas fields, gas fields that all of central Asia and Europe want to access. Niyazov, despite his twisted sense of humor, has Russia's Gazprom and Western Europe on it's knees. The U.S. government has also courted Niyazov, conveniently ignoring his "quirks" in an effort to gain access to territory bordering Afghanistan. The doddering Donald Rumsfeld visited the "narco-state" in 2004 to discuss American access to the Taliban drug pipeline.

Niyazov got away with his personal psychiatric problems played out on the world stage much more effectively and flamboyantly than George Bush. Why is it that foreign dictators are so much more interesting than our home grown brand?

This season, I cannot choose just one Lord of Misrule and thankfully they all seem to have slit their own throats without any help from me.

Comments

[Aloysius]

A very informative post. But what self-respecting feline wears pants to begin with?

[Cato]

One has to wear pants at the beginning of the Saturnalia in an effort to have something to take off when the dancing begins. Usually, I do not wear pants given my girth. I had pants made special for this year, and I hired someone to get them buttoned as well :)