Defcon 3 flea control

My vet has declared a defcon 3 state of emergency. There is no getting around it, I have been attacked by Ctenocephalides felis. The attacks have been unrelenting this summer. My vet has advised me to be vigilant, take notice of my surroundings, and report suspicious bug activities to him immediately. We are at level 3 because I cannot stop itching despite the fact there are no fleas on my body!

Troops had been put into place to overcome the enemy, but evidently the surge was not enough to overcome them. The border has been breached, My yard and house have been overrun and I am sheltering in place waiting for new recruits. This despite the use of flea deterrent (Advantage and Capstar) and a very thorough house cleaning protocol. Apparently the little buggers came in on the backs of raccoons, opossum and now skunks that participate in the nightly rave that take place in the back yard around the pond.

While this new level of combat readiness is new, the problem is an old one. I showed signs of allergic sensitivity to fleas at the young age of two months when my environment was overrun with them and so was I. I remember being man-handled and dunked in the sink one hot day in July. The bubbles from the soap suds filled my nose. At the time my personal attendant thought it was cute, little did she know I would continue to suffer.

What are we fighting here? The common cat flea can bite 400 times before it is completely sated with blood from its host. The combatant as a fighting machine is nearly invincible. The cat flea is lightweight yet strong with a exoskeleton that is heavily armored to protect all parts of the body. The armor is waterproof, shock resistant and able to survive high pressure of a 130 g's of gravity. The flea when jumping accelerates 50 times faster than a space shuttle. Fleas jump over seven inches high and thirteen inches long, about one hundred and fifty times its own length. I cannot jump that high!

This is also an army that does not need food to survive -- it can go for over a year without a blood meal. That and the fact that it is small enough to be almost invisible that it can hide anywhere, cracks, crevices, the fibers of carpet, in the weave of upholstery.....in other words, it can snuggle down in your house or yard and wait for the hot, damp weather to come to life and bite. My vet says global warming has changed my environment. It has gone from a temperate one to hot one and fleas also seem to be overcoming the common deterrents like Advantage and Capstar. Hence, my vet's declaration of the defcon 3 emergency.

I was given state-of-the-art body armor. The number one weapon in my battle to save my skin includes a biological weapon. The weapon, which last six months is injectable the only risk to me is injection site sarcoma, my vet feels the risk is better than the consequences of continued discomfort and pain from over grooming (my belly was a bloody mess from licking and biting). The risk to the flea is tremendous, one bite from me and fleas cannot reproduce for six months. Slowly, over time the army dies. There is no known cure for the fleas.

And while I am grateful to my vet for the intervention and emergency declaration, my banker wonders where the funds are going to come from. What with the injectable, the topicals and the tablets (plus constant washing and vacuuming), it was much more cost effective to continue with the cortisone shots. Although she concedes that the resultant liver damage later in life is a huge drawback. She will be submitting her wartime budget to Congress in the coming weeks asking for additional funds to fight the flea insurgency.

"We cannot know the duration of this war. Yet we know its outcome; we will prevail. The Ctenocephalides felis regime will be disarmed. The occupation will be ended. Cato will be free from flea bites. And our world will be more secure and peaceful," she stated when questioned by members of the press corps this morning.

Comments

[Dragonheart]

That sounds horrible! Good luck with the battle against the fleas!

Thanks for taking part in WCB. :)

[Aloysius]

Wow, Cato! Those fleas are really dangerous. Keep up the battle, my friend.