Would you serve Bercherovka to the Chinese president? -- Debate rebuttal

I am proud to stand before you once again along with this distinguished group of candidates. I would also like to thank Skeezix for hosting the event. This is a great opportunity for the feline community to take a look at the candidates and get to know them. I am happy to answer any and all questions the audience may have.

I am sad to stand before you today and report that two months after the U.S. House passed a woefully inadequate Farm Bill, the U.S. Senate has still not been able to craft a bill at all. It has been reported that there is no Democratic or Republican consensus on what should be done and there can be no vote on anything until the bill passes out of the Senate Finance Committee. 

Termed the Food Bill by many in the organic produce industry, the nation's leadership has the opportunity to pass a bill that not only conserves the environment, but provides incentives and bucks to farmers to grow nutritious foods rather than foods that contribute to the growing problem of obesity around the world. This bill would also enforce the country of origin labeling act (COOL) and give American consumers the power to choose not to purchase products from countries like China that cannot guarantee quality food stuffs. Write your Senators and tell them you will not vote for them again if they do not pass a 2007 Farm Bill.

QUESTION ONE: In light of the  recent and sad deaths of many loved companion animals due to tainted foods from China , I would like to ask Cheysuli what she would serve China's President Hu Jintao when he came to his first state dinner at the White House?

For my part I would serve him an aperitif (I prefer Becherovka, but I have a Slavic heritage). I understand the Chinese prefer a dry sherry with olives. This would be followed by King Salmon tartar with capers and nasturtiums (I grow these in my own garden and use as an accent for salad and sometimes I just toss them across the bed for a quiet night's sleep).

After this divine snack, I would move into the main courses of Marin Sun Farms grass-fed beef rib eye and grilled Cattail Creek lamb with rosemary. As I sometimes take both raw, I would offer President Hu the opportunity to experience both entrees fresh and bloody. The wine I would choose to accompany this carnivore's delight is a 1995 Araujo Cabernet Sauvignon, Eisele Vineyard. I know this plot of land well as it is in my neighborhood. I love the soil and find it just right for a variety of uses that cannot be mentioned here.

For desert I would feed him ginger ice cream crepe (homemade) with wild huckleberries. After dinner I would climb into his lap and discuss fine food, democracy and the system of laws that must support it. I would remind him that I will ban all food products from his country unless he implements these laws and carries them out.

Just because China is one of our largest trading partners must not blind us to the failures of the Chinese Government to punish and prevent tainted products of all types to be exported to the world. If the government does not implement a system of laws and educate it's entrepreneurs about them, I will ask other nations to join a boycott until China puts a legal system in place. A legal system that provides enforceable laws to prevent the selling of tainted products that kill other beings. An open marketplace in China must not mean that the citizens of the world must fear for their lives.

QUESTION TWO: In light of the vicious deer menace question that was discussed last week, I would like to ask Skittles what his stance is on gun control?

I believe that 12-year-old girls should be the only humans able to handle and shoot guns in the United States. I feel that girls of this age have a great need of protection and having a deadly weapon and the knowledges to use one effectively is an excellent solution to the gun problem and the problem of rape and incest. I think adolescent girls have a greater sense of right and wrong than most adults. These girls should be given guns, shown how to use them and given exemption from the death penalty of they shoot to kill. I believe that the whole dynamic for girls would change if a law was enacted giving them the ability to use and shoot guns to their heart's content. I am sure that if little girls felt that deer are too vicious, they would take care of them immediately.

QUESTION THREE: Doc Holliday your name sake (John Henry (Doc) Holliday) was a known killer (gunslinger), compulsive gambler and alcoholic. His history shows that alcoholism played a part in his violent temper, his gambling; and his abuse of the substance may have been due to the fact that he was slowly dying from a disease (consumption) given to him by his mother. My question to you is this: Should alcohol be classified as an illicit drug and outlawed?

I believe that the legalization of substances that can easily be abused should be weighed against the State's ability to collect taxes and provide rehabilitation. Should illegal drugs and alcohol be legalized and taxed? Like any pharmaceutical substance, should drugs and alcohol be subject to standardization and quality control? Should this be done if it would prevent the deaths of thousands? Would the drug market become depressed if the State legalized illegal drugs and controlled the price and production? Would criminality be driven from our shores? Would prisons be virtually emptied with the regulation of drugs and alcohol? Should the State provide rehabilitation free of charge? Legislators should weigh the issues, lay out the balance sheets and decide based on objective reasoning rather than emotionality. The prohibition of drugs and alcohol has never worked. The Prohibition Era was a disaster and saw the rise of gangs and extreme criminality surrounding bootlegged alcohol. The War On Drugs has produced a similar experience with illegal drugs. If there is a solution to this problem to be found, greater creativity must be brought to bear on the issue.

For those of you who were not able to read my answers to the questions last week, can find them here. 

Comments

[Aloysius]

Cato, your menu for the state dinner sounds absolutely divine! We often have salmon with capers in my house. I guess I need to grow some nasturtiums in my garden, too. I'm licking my lips just thinking about it. We definitely need a gastronomic prodigy like you in the White House.

[The Crew]

Wonderful rebuttal answers, Cato!