In an unprecedented move, Cato has begun interviewing potentital candidates for vice president within the avian community. Within the past week has had two interviews with cockatoos living at Lyon Ranch, an animal refuge in Sonoma County, California.
Number one on Cato's short list of vice presidential candidates is Spike. "What is striking about him, " Cato said in an interview after their meeting, "is his size and color. He is all white with a tangerine tint. Just a stunning individual. That coupled with his Ph.D. in economics from the London School makes him a terrific candidate. He is articulate, jovial and earthy. Perhaps 
his greatest strength, and maybe his greatest fault, is that he seems to fall in love everyone he meets," Cato said with a sign. "If there were more people on this earth like Spike, there would be no need to campaign for president. We would all live peaceful, productive lives, knowing we were loved."
When asked to comment on the obvious problem an parrot would pose for the Feline Party of God, Cato responded this way: "It is time for my fellow felines to consider a vegetarian life. Cats the world over are marauding unchecked in their frenzy to capture and eat small animals. Maybe it is time to grow out of these instincts and take on some responsibility to improve the earth. In doing so, kitties everywhere should realize that many already get breakfast and dinner provided by their bankers. Maybe it is time to play with those toys we neglect. Maybe it is time to savor Friskies Mixed Grill rather than disdaining it for mouse or bird."
Apparently the admiration was mutual. In response to reporter's questions after the meeting, Spike said: "He is a great statesman. He is gentle and kind. An intelligent individual, with a measured temperament and appetite. I would be pleased to stand with him in the next presidential election."
Cato also interviewed Bert a lively umbrella cockatoo. "He was found wandering the slums of Paris, there he learned to dance for his dinner. During our interview," Cato said, "he danced around and around my chair. It was hard to gage his interest in running as a vice president as he seemed to only want to 
engage me in games," Cato laughed. "In some respects this makes him the perfect candidate. He has entertainment value; and talk about the way he hops up an down -- sheer genius. A Nijinsky in white. In any television spot, he would immediately attract attention. An artistic and nimble candidate. Together we would be sure fire front runners."
The third and final candidate Cato met with was Gertrude a blue and gold Macaw, who is differently abled. "She grew up with her handicap and has overcome it to be a valued member of society. 
Her cookbooks, featuring recipes for strawberries, are re-known. As a columnist, her sense of humor is unparalleled. She is a Psittacidae's Erma Bombeck. Under her examination, everything becomes delightful. I have retained her as my publicist."
My apologies to the Lyon Family and my thanks for a delightful afternoon with your feathered friends.
